Me: Hey, boys, it looks like [your cousin who was in the hospital] gets to come home today! Yay!
Squeezy: He’s coming to our house?
Me: No, he’s going to his house in Spain.
Squeezy: Grandma and Grandpa live in Spain.
Me: No, Grandma and Grandpa live in Omaha. Spain is very far away.
Squeezy: Where is Spain?
Angry Ranger: It’s on the Iberian Peninsula.
January 23 I found this picture on AR’s memory card. It makes me smile, and also made me realize that maybe Art and I take too many pictures from this angle.
February 24 The boys are playing table tennis on the Wii.
DP: I’m going to serve funny. Watch this.
AR: I’m not watching! (DP serves; AR doesn’t hit it) HEY! I wasn’t ready!!!
March 20 Today I got to pull out my mad Writing Center skills on my son’s paper. My son is in fourth grade and typed a three-page paper on Thomas Edison that is better than MANY I have had to deal with in the writing center. I am proud. And also slightly disgusted.
March 30 Notice the careful way he put his eggs in there in a pattern.
March 31 Together Family men. You can dress ‘em up but you can’t take ‘em out! (I think this might be my new favorite picture. I love it!)
April 2 Indoctrinating my fourth grader with the necessity of the Oxford Comma. He’ll thank me later.
April 19 Today, Squeezy told me a story in which God married a beautiful princess. And then Angry Ranger piped up and said, “Well, Mom, you can just say that the princess is the Church.” #whenpreschoolersandfourthgraderscollide #theologicalawesomeness #sometimesicanthelpbutusehashtagsfornoreason
April 24 Squeezy and Darth Piggy both brought home trophies tonight from our JOY Club’s pinewood derby. And I just have to say that my boy Angry Ranger, who didn’t win a trophy, was SO grown up about it and made me so proud.
May 12 This conversation happened this morning.
Me: Well, I guess I’d better go up and make myself beautiful.
Angry Ranger: Mom, you’re always beautiful.
June 10 Sent one very excited 10-year-old boy off to camp this morning!
June 13 With AR gone at camp this week, it is very easy to tell who usually comes up with “what we’re going to do today” ideas. #twoboredchildrenfloppingonthecouch #hemaybebossybutatleastheentertainshissiblings #imissmyoldestkid #becauseeverythingisbetterwithrandompointlesshashtags
June 15 Today Angry Ranger is coming home, and I am going to clean out the fridge. One of these things fills me with a lot more happiness than the other one does.
Look who’s home! It’s unfortunate that you can’t really see how very sunburned the kiddo is in this picture.
Listening to my ten-year-old play “I’m in the Lord’s Army” in a minor key on the piano. It really takes it to a whole new level.
Selfie, in the bathroom mirror, with someone else’s water bottle. Why? Because he’s Angry Ranger, that’s why.
June 26 Angry Ranger and his good pal Thomas Edison. AR studied Edison this past year and wrote a five-page typed paper about him.
July 11 AR is the budgie whisperer. He got like four different parakeets to sit on his stick o’ seeds.
July 12 Things that are way more complicated than you realize: getting pictures off a memory card and onto the interwebs. I just tried to teach Angry Ranger the process. Ack.
July 27 Me: Art, can you get me something?
Art: No, I’m busy doing the Lord’s Work (i.e. he doesn’t want to stand up)
Angry Ranger: But Dad, serving your wife IS your Lord’s work, remember?
Me: Ha! Someone was listening to your sermon last week.
Art: Finally. Of all the things he remembers, it’s that one…
Angry Ranger: (Apologetically): Sorry, I had to listen because I didn’t bring anything else to do!
July 30 You might be raising a four-year-old girl if you pull a two loaves of bread out of the oven and she says, “Ooh! A Mommy bread and a baby bread!”
You might be raising a ten-year-old boy if he responds, “How could the mom and the baby be born at the same time?”
You might be raising a family of geeks if your answer of “time travel” is considered acceptable.
September 13 AR: Mom, how do you spell “dizzying?”
DP: What are you writing?
Me: A story about me. The sentence is, “My mom’s beauty is truly dizzying.”
September 27 A soundbite from our homeschool this morning: “Sixty-three . . . sniff . . . snort . . . divided by . . . cough . . . hack hack hack . . . seven . . . sneeze . . . sniffle snarfle snuff . . . is . . . cough cough moan . . . sneeze . . . nine? cough hack sniff . . . sorry.”
October 4 I just showed the boys a joint on my foot that is all swollen up, and based on his reaction I’m thinking Angry Ranger does not have a promising future as a rheumatologist.
October 31 Angry Ranger’s costume was the talk of the town. It looked even better once it started getting dark, because he actually lights up!
November 1 Angry Ranger started singing a Christmas carol at breakfast this morning. Art told him to stop because, though he didn’t mind, he knows I’m not ready to hear it yet. So then Ryan said, “Sorry Dad, it just slipped out the wrong end.”
December 27 Just had to shop for shoes for Ryan in the men’s department. I think an “alas” is in order here. Alas.