Today I was brave and looked in the mirror on purpose for the first time since Wednesday morning. Yesterday I came upon my reflection accidentally in a public bathroom and was not overwhelmed with joy at what I saw. Mom told me I was pale the other day. She was not wrong.
I feel like the face in the mirror is different than it was a few days ago. Even without the pallor, it has changed. I’ve always loved to flirt with myself in the mirror, smile, see how cute I could get myself to look. The face in the mirror right now isn’t the face I know. The features are the same but there is something– in the eyes, maybe– that is foreign to me.
I wonder if that something is here to stay or if it will pass as the wounds in my heart heal.