Small Voices, Part 4

Well, for awhile this week I thought this was going to be Small Voices: Theological Edition, but they broke the pattern on Saturday. Anyway, enjoy this weeks edition of Small Voices, AKA, my kids at their finest. Oh, and as a special bonus this week, Small Voices has pictures! Oooh, Ahhhh! Life is worth living once again!  Honestly, I think this is one of the funniest blog entries featuring my children’s brilliance ever. Hope you enjoy!

As always, you can click on the Make Me Laugh icon to visit more entries in this week’s Make Me Laugh Monday.


Sam was getting ready for church and as he took his sweatpants off Ryan noticed that Sam wasn’t wearing underwear.
Ryan: Mommy, is Sam going Commando?
Me: Well he is right now but he has to put his underwear on to get dressed for church.
Ryan: Well, why can’t he go commando at church?
Sam: Because people wouldn’t like it and it would make Jesus sad.


I made whole wheat muffins in an attempt to regulate my children’s digestive systems. (That’s the nice way of putting it).
Ryan: Mommy, these holy muffins sure are yummy!


I have decided that it’s time to do some serious correcting of my children’s theology. As I was cutting their hair into mohawks, the following conversation took place:
Ryan: Sam, we have to have our mohawks shaved off before we go to church on Sunday.
Sam: Why?
Ryan: Because if we don’t people will think we don’t love Jesus.
(I swear I didn’t tell him that!)


Ryan: Look! A CORN COB TREE!!!


Ryan: Mommy, can I use the apricot crayon for your skin since I can’t find peach?
Me: Um, sure. a few moments pass
Ryan: Mommy I’m going to draw you NUDE.
Me: What? No you’re not.
Ryan: Why?
Me: Because that’s not appropriate.
Ryan: But I’m making you in the bathtub!
Me: Sorry. No naked pictures of your mom. (He’ll thank me for this in a few years).
Ryan: Well I guess I’ll have to put the apricot crayon away. a few more minutes pass.
Ryan: Mommy, do you have a pink dress or an orange dress or a black dress?
Me: I have a blue dress and a yellow dress. But you can make the dress any color you like. A few more minutes pass.
Ryan: Mommy, I’m making a picture of you in your blue dress but you have shampoo in your hair because you are getting washed!
And because I know you are dying to see the artwork in question, and also because it just really got better from there on out:

(click on the picture to see the larger version so you can read the explanations (taken directly from Ryan’s mouth)

Also, you should know that Ryan’s whole picture smells like cheap dollar store overscented shampoo. GAG! Sam also got in on the action. His picture is clearly inspired by Ryan’s but he totally did his own thing. Please note, I try to keep this blog G-Rated but this picture has some definite PG elements. Mom and Dad, you might find this disturbing.


9 thoughts on “Small Voices, Part 4

  1. at least they listen, right? sam did draw you in underwear after all LOL

    this is great. love the scab part! i had a pen pal in the fourth grade and i sent her a scab. the teacher found out. i was no longer allowed to have a pen pal. i was a disturbed child. didn’t like doing it so that was my way of getting out of it.

    i can’t believe i just admitted that.

    sam’s scab is way cooler than mine ever was even if mine was the real thing 🙂

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