Failing to Conform

Lately, as I have been frolicking through the blogosphere during my nightly online wanderings, I have noticed a trend. One Hundred Things. Or One Hundred Random Facts about Me. Or some variation of that title. Followed by a list of, surprisingly, one hundred random facts about that blogger.

Well, I may be late to the party but I am always willing to jump right into the fun, except that I am not the Princess of Conformity. So, in the spirit of participating in bloggy fun while still maintaining my own unique identity, I present to you–

Twenty-Eight Random Lies about Me.

1. I am prone to frequent fits of shrill, maniacal laughter.

2. I am really a grumpy 75-year-old man sitting at my computer stalking mommy bloggers and wearing a tiara.

3. I strongly dislike ice cream.

4. Sometimes I just can’t help myself and I clean frantically for hours at a time.

5. My laundry is always done.

6. My children refer to me always as “Beautiful Princess Who Makes Our Dreams Come True.”

7. I have a faint Polish accent.

8. My favorite holiday is Armistice Day.

9. I know what Armistice Day is.

10. I am often mistaken for Michael Jordan.

11. I often dream that I had been born 200 years ago and could spend my life on an idyllic early-nineteenth century farm.

12. I take everything very seriously, especially this blog.

13. I have no idea where my son got his chatty streak from.

14. I am a total shoe snob. I have to wear my Prada stilettos to work every day or I fear the children will not take me seriously.

15. I am 100% sure that Prada makes stilettos.

16. Sauerkraut. Yum.

17. My husband and I met while backpacking across Europe. He was my guide but I couldn’t understand a word he said because my Japanese was really rusty at the time.

18. I absolutely love to read romance novels.

19. My article, “Fifteen Ways to Show Affection to your Pet Dinosaur,” won first place in the high school writing contest my senior year, and was later published in The Journal of Unusual Domestic Animals.

20. I have a life-sized tattoo of my husband’s face on my back.

21. I sometimes find it difficult to believe that I have accomplished so much in my twenty-two short years upon this earth.

22. I was once abducted by aliens who made me play “Camptown Races” on my recorder for 36 hours straight with only one bathroom break.

23. In my spare time, I moonlight as a fairy godmother.

24. I harbor deep feelings of resentment toward my ninth-grade French teacher.

25. I have unlimited time and therefore will keep making these up until I get to one hundred.

26. I have a weak spot for opera.

27. I’m not going to stop now.

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15 thoughts on “Failing to Conform

  1. Hahaha.

    Fairy godmother, could you please make sure please install a mute button on my children if at all possible. Thanks in advance.

    LOL

  2. I found your blog just in time!! Very good morning amusement– thank you, thank you, and I’m so glad that you are not an old man wearing a tiara; that means I will come back to your blog again.

  3. How come there is only 27? Didn’t you say there was going to be 28? And, actually, I am rather fond of Armistice Day. It’s in celebration of the end of WWI on November 11th, 1918. It was often called “The war to end all wars” but ironically, it changed the face of modern warfare.

    And just for the record, so the truth be known, in response to number 17, I am not really Japanese. I just like to speak it. Everyone needs a hobby, right?

    And also, Erin’s Polish accent is actually quite heavy.

  4. LOL!!!! ty wants to know what’s the matter with saurekraut?! LOL!!!!

    i busted at No 4, although i’m not sure why. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. # 2 is sooo funny. I have often thought about that….seriously, I have….not about you though….anyway. Ran across your blog and had to comment on that…so funny!
    Tracy

  6. Pingback: Lists, Lists, Lists « Notes from the Princess

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