Last night Art and I went on our annual Epic Christmas Season Kick-Off Date to the Jordan Creek Town Center in West Des Moines. Every year the Blenders are there for a mini concert, and then they light a big Christmas tree and shoot off fireworks and it’s a lot of fun if you are willing to put up with crushing crowds and freezing cold for the joy of staring at famous people’s backs and getting a free concert out of the deal.
Every other year we’ve made it in time to shoulder our way through the crowds and get an occasional glimpse of one of the musician’s back ends. Still, it’s fun, and it’s become a tradition, so this year after much finangling we lined up a sitter and headed out early for once.
The concert is held in an ampitheater which usually fills up long before we arrive, and it was pretty full when we got there 45 minutes before the scheduled start time. But, miraculously, maybe because of the cold (because it was miserable), we found seats. In the front row, baby. Front row seats to a Blenders concert, even if it is only six songs long, are a ticket to happiness for Erin, especially since we didn’t have to pay for them.
There was only one problem.
The seats in this ampitheater are made of concrete. And the temperature was in the twenties. The smart people at the concert had guarded against this with quilts, fleece blankets, even pillows to protect their patooties from the horrors of sitting for an hour or more or concrete in freezing temperatures. We were not so wise.
Honestly, we had never been close enough to the ampitheater to even think about bringing something warm to sit on. Oh well. You do not turn down an opportunity at a front-row seat to a Blenders concert simply because your bum might freeze off. At least, we don’t.
So we braved it. Within five minutes my bottom wasn’t even sure it was still there. My fingers were cold, too, but I was dealing with it. The nice man on my right gave me a hand-warmer. The not-so-nice lady on Art’s left, with her five thick blankets for three people, did not give us anything but dirty looks because apparently she felt guilty for not sharing. Seriously, for someone willing to go out in that cold weather and sit for an hour to hear a fifteen-minute concert, she was running way low on the Christmas spirit. Oh well. Her loss.
We were so pumped about our great seats. After we’d been sitting there shivering for half an hour or so, I made Art take the traditional required picture of the two of us.
I think the attractive red glow is from the spotlights on the stage; either that or one of us has acquired some sort of saint-like status of which I am unaware (and highly skeptical). The best thing about this picture is that is shows off my two best features: my double chin and my perfectly-centered pregnancy pimple. The other best thing about this picture is that it wasted our dying camera battery.
Therefore, I bring you, straight from the front row of the Blenders concert in West Des Moines last night, a photograph.
See that? How close we were? See those two behinds? Those are genuine Blender Backsides, baby. And yes, thanks to our big fail of a camera battery, this is the best picture we got. Blender Behinds.
Speaking of behinds, four hours after we left the concert my bottom and my legs were still not thawed out completely. And this morning I have redness on my face that I suspect is windburn.
But we’re in the Christmas spirit, darn it.