Open Letters to my Three Children

Dear Ryan,

It’s pronounced cottage cheese, not Scottish cheese.

Love, Mommy


Dear Sam,

This morning, when you told me your pajamas were dry and that you wanted to stay in them for awhile, I said that would be fine. Then two hours later I stepped on your blankie, which was soaking wet and smelled like pee. When I asked you why your blankie was wet, you said you didn’t know. Something’s not stacking up here, son. I’m just saying.

Love, Mommy


Dear Baby Sprinkle,

No matter how hard you try, you cannot be born through my ribs. Trust me.

Love, Mommy


10 thoughts on “Open Letters to my Three Children

  1. I love this! I say “I love this” as I’m trying to convince my three year old that “tenable!” is not the what you say when you jump on someone. It’s “cannonball.”

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! rylee will not pronounce anything with “old” at the end likd cold, hold, mold, etc. it’s “ode” so she’s always code or can’t hode onto something. LOL!!!

    and when i’m doing yoga, zoe and rylee call it yogo like the snack. LOL!!!

  3. I still remember some of the names Danielle had for stuff: Bananas were “me-nas” and the inside of the elbow was your elbow-pit.

  4. What amazing artists your children are and how accurately they portray not only you pregnant, but every woman as well! I feel the universality of their work!

    I’m laughing my head off here.

  5. Erin, Sam’s drawing and your explanation of “the anatomy of a pregnant woman” is hilarious–I’m cracking up! Guess part of it is because I can totally relate! 🙂

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