Yes, as a matter of fact, that is the very best blog title ever.
And to celebrate the extreme coolness of that blog title, I am going to now post a random list of stuff.
I’m exciting like that.
1. Monday morning I made an Epic Discovery, one which can only be described by using extraneous capitalization. Yesterday morning I discovered What I’ve Been Doing Wrong. See, ever since I had kids I have been under the mistaken impression that in order to create special moments with my family I had to, I don’t know, do special things with my family. I have been Very Wrong. See, Monday morning I was perusing Sunday’s USA Weekend magazine, which I usually only open so I can do the sudoku puzzle. And I came across an advertisement for paper towels. Wait. Make that an Advertisement for Paper Towels. In big bold happy letters, this ad instructed me to “Make this Summer Special with VIVA Towels.”
Can you believe it? All the times I have so desperately tried to have fun with my kids, only to have the experience ruined by weather or bugs or extreme potty breaks or rude people or my kids’ bad attitudes or the stomach flue or the General Failiness of the Universe, and all I had to do was go buy some paper towels? I’ve been robbed.
But now I know. Which is why instead of trips to the park, the beach, the fair, the zoo, the library, Grandma and Grandpa’s house, and the splash park this summer, we will be making a trip to WalMart to buy some VIVA paper towels. It’s going to be a Very Special Season.
2. I took Ryan to get his hair cut Tuesday night and on the way home one of my favorite songs came on the radio. I was singing along at a red light when I noticed the guy in the lane next to me was definitely staring at me. And not only was he staring at me, he was laughing. And I had to wonder exactly what I had been doing. Because apparently I was so in the zone rocking out to FFH that I didn’t even realize I was putting on quite the show. Sometimes when a good song comes on I like to dance around a little, maybe throw in some rocking hand motions, (all for the sake of the children, of course), but usually I am actually aware of my actions. In this instance, however,I have no memory of doing anything even remotely entertaining. Which I’m sure is very comforting to all the people who regularly drive in Happy Suburb, Iowa. Anyway, it was mildly embarrassing, but that didn’t stop me from singing. And I’m still thinking of installing a disco ball where the dome light currently is. For the children, people.
3. I have noticed that my daughter looks most like me when she’s making a dorky face. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
4. Wednesday morning was extreme chaos around our house, and in the middle of it Gracie decided that she must be fed right that moment. I was still in my pajamas and Art was shaving, and I was about ready to despair when I realized that Ryan was bopping around the house completely ready to go to school. Problem solved.
While he was feeding Gracie, Ryan looked at Sam and said “Hey Sammy, have you ever milked Gracie?” Bwuahahahaha.
5. Wednesday night at dinner, Ryan was holding forth on the subject of onions. “I will never eat an onion when I am a kid,” he said. “They are just too spicy and they make my eyes water and I can’t see at all.”
“When I do this, I can’t see at all,” piped in Sam. We looked over at him, and there he was, sitting in his chair, completely failing to eat his hamburger, with his eyes squeezed shut.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
6. We are going to my parents’ house this weekend for Memorial Day and my mom is going to dye my hair. Can I tell you how happy I am about that? Because last week Art asked me if I had gotten silver spray paint in my hair, and then he realized it was my roots. Thanks for that, darling.
7. The other night my dear son Ryan presented me with a note he had written all by himself.
Thak you for coming to my hrvist pardy
I Love you
For the record, the harvest party he is referring to was in November. Apparently he is as good at writing thank-you notes in a timely fashion as his mother is.
8. Finally, in the joyful spirit of our ninth wedding anniversary, and all our blessed years of wedded bliss, I bring you these pictures of Art and me in all our adolescent glory. Can there be any doubt, as you look at these photos, that we would grow up and find that we are meant for each other?
I think not, people. I think not.