Last week my sons brought home many exciting prizes from VBS in addition to the mythical wax lips. They also brought home a number of balloons, which promptly popped and caused great distress. They brought candy which put them in sugar comas faster than you can say “we’re so glad to be at Vacation Bible School.” They brought home a number of small plastic trinkets designed to keep the economy of China flourishing. And they brought home a couple of little penguin figurines.
So today, as the prospect of another long, hard, miserable day of summer break boredom loomed before them, my two creative sons broke out their art supplies (glue sticks, printer paper, scissors, and crayons), and created penguin homes.
I mean habitats.
Ryan made a paper mountain for his penguin, Waukee, to climb, along with a crayon lake. And yes, our dining room table does always look like this. Why did you ask?
Today the part of Sam’s penguin, Squawkee, is being played by a beanie baby named, aptly, Chihuahua. Squawkee has apparently gone AWOL.
Anyway, when the boys showed Art their penguin habitats, he happened to be putting Gracie on her playmat at the time. “Here you go into your habitat, Gracie,” he said, and BEHOLD! Another great and exciting blog entry was born.
My creative process boggles the mind, no?
So it is without further ado that I present to you
The Habitats of the Together Family!!!!!!
(please imagine an announcer guy saying that in a really loud boomy voice)
The habitat of the Together family is a many-varied space. From the linoleum wastes where the family forages for food to the carpeted dens where they make their bed at night; from the leaky, hard-water stained watering hole where they bathe themselves to the grassland turned jungle where the kids and dogs frolic, the Together family makes the most of their habitat.
Yet, most unusually, within their suburban home, each member of the family has carved out his own niche, where the intrepid explorer can usually discover him. Let us take a moment to observe this never-before-seen footage of the Together family as they truly are, in their own habitats.
We begin with the dominant male of the family, who has created himself a fortress of solitude in the depths of the family’s basement. Surrounded by books, pencils, and old cups of coffee, and illuminated only by his desklamp, “Art” works tirelessly translating ancient languages, shuffling through the music on his mp3 player, and trying not to fall asleep.
Upstairs, the mother of the family keeps watch over her brood from her place on the armchair. Amazingly enough, “Erin” is capable of remaining in this chair for hours on end, mindlessly updating her facebook status. She has adapted her habitat to include items of importance to her, including coffee, baby bottles, and, of course, the tv remote, which she regularly uses to keep the offspring quiet. Notice also that she has stolen her mate’s t-shirt, possibly in an attempt to blend in with her predominantly-male surroundings, but more likely because she cannot reach the laundry room from her chair.
Further upstairs, the first young cub has transformed his sleeping den into what he calls a “train station.” Never mind that the tracks are not train tracks, but racecar tracks, or that the so-called trains are actually blocks, “Ryan” has an imagination that can happily turn any object into a train if it will sit still long enough. Utilizing his large vocabulary, loud voice, and strong personality, “Ryan” creates these train tracks almost daily with the help of his younger brother, who is often under duress.
We turn our attention now to that younger brother, the second son of the Together family. Having spent his entire life under the thumb of two adults and an older brother who considers himself a much-needed third parent, “Sam” often just needs to get away. He has found the perfect hidey-hole behind his mother’s armchair, next to the couch. Often “Sam” can be found here, clutching his special blanket and sucking his thumb. Do not, however, be fooled by his cute and cuddly appearance. Much of the family’s habitat has been destroyed, or irrevocably altered, by the machinations of this young cub.
Finally, we come to the youngest member of the Together family, a female cub who spends a great deal of her time on what the family refers to as her “playmat.” Seemingly oblivious to the carnage going on around her as her two older brothers go about their daily business, “Gracie” is content to lay here for long periods of time, listening to a small stuffed musical lion and observing the movements of the toys which swing in front of her eyes. She has even marked her territory, using generous quantities of spit-up to do so.
As the Together family goes about their daily business, living and laughing and making messes and occasionally cleaning them up, they enjoy the use of their individual niche habitats. We hope you have enjoyed this exclusive footage of the lives of the Together family. Tune in next time to see if “Erin” can resist the urge to eat her young even after they draw life-sized self portraits on the living room wall with a Sharpie marker.
(here endeth yet another bit of Together for Good weirdness)
Bahahahaha. I crack me up.
And here’s a gratuitous picture of Gracie, just because she’s cute. And also because I can. Since it’s my blog and all.
She’s six weeks old today! How incredible is that? Hard to imagine that six weeks ago right now I was clawing my face off. The epidural made me a tad bit itchy.
And since I can’t seem to bring myself to conclude this blog entry gracefully, I think I’ll end now.