Having Just Written This Blog, I Hereby Warn You of the Stupidity Contained Therein

So, you know that non-stick gripper stuff they put on the bottom of socks? Can anyone explain why it’s on the bottom of my newborn’s size 0-3 month socks? I can’t help but wonder how much money they could save by NOT putting  it there. They didn’t used to put that stuff on there, and we turned out okay. And now that they are putting it on there, HELLO EXTREME ECONOMIC FAIL. I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire failing US economy could be tracked back to the sock manufacturers wasting non-stick gripper stuff on newborn baby socks. Seriously. Someone should look into this.

In other news, if you saw my status on facebook earlier you already know this, but whatever, nothing interesting happened today so this is all you get people. This morning I decided to be a good mother and take my kids to the park and the library instead of engaging in our normal routine of me yelling at the kids from my armchair while they tear the house apart. So after Sesame Street was over, I loaded the diaper bag and the baby into the carseat, found socks and shoes for everyone (including a pair of grippy ones for Gracie, the only person not walking, I’m just saying), and dragged my children out the door. We walked to a little playground about 1/4 of a mile away and the boys played while I sat and fed the baby. In the midst of her lunch, Gracie decided that the middle of a playground in broad daylight was as good a time as any for a poop, so it became necessary to change her diaper. I pulled out my handy-dandy changing mat, laid it in the woodchips, put her on it, and proceeded to remove the offensive item and clean up her cute little baby cheeks. It was not until I reached into the diaper bag that I realized I had never replenished it after our last outing. Three minutes later the boys and I were practically running down the street, with Gracie wrapped up in a burpcloth and a blanket, sitting in her stroller atop her changing pad. We made it home before any major crises occurred.

And this evening, when I was digging in the diaper bag for something else, I discovered a diaper hidden in a pocket deep within its recesses. Sigh. I am so not making that up.

The story actually continues, but the part about dragging the kids back out the door and to the library, only to discover after we had all chosen books that I had left the library card at home, and the part where Ryan informed me that he didn’t think I was very smart for forgetting the library card, and the part where I then spent the better part of a half mile walk lecturing my son on the right and wrong way to talk to his mother when she’s having a stressful day, well, that’s the boring part, so we’ll skip it.

Other things I could write about today include the fact that my kids would probably starve if Fareway stopped carrying baby carrots, and the fact that I had three migraines over the weekend but thankfully haven’t had one in almost two days, and the fact that last night I got out all my supplies to paint my toenails, sat down to watch tv, and promptly forgot what I was doing, because apparently this baby brain thing isn’t just something dumb people made up, which means that my toenails still look absolutely horrendous and aren’t painted “charming rose creme.” And also the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to punctuate that sentence so I’m not going to try.

Will the excitement never end?

I know this is why you read my blog. It’s the riveting content.

So. Non-stick grippy stuff on baby socks. What do you think?

asdfad

(Gracie can’t believe you wasted your time reading this drivel either.)

(By the way, I told you I’d link you to my hubby’s fabulous pictures from our trip to the Botanical Center yesterday, and TA DA!!! I shall now link you to my hubby’s fabulous pictures from our trip to the Botanical Center yesterday. Consider yourself linked.)

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Having Just Written This Blog, I Hereby Warn You of the Stupidity Contained Therein

  1. hmmm…perhaps if you had had gripper stuff on the bottom of your cute little booties you would have had a better grip on life. I am certain my mom put SHOES on my feet before they weighed me in the hospital. They were called “crib shoes”. You never know when a newborn will start pacing in her crib. Best to be prepared. When you consider how perfectly sane and in control I turned out, maybe you should be on the hunt for some original and very expensive “crib shoes”.

  2. Erin, I’m glad to hear you’ve had 2 days with no migraines. To borrow an oft used phrase, I LAUGH OUT LOUD when I read your stories. It takes an unusual mind to be able to turn the mundane into the (totally) amusing!

    Love the toenails!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: