The Observational Powers of Little Boys

enchantedSo tonight Art went off to donate plasma and left me alone in the house with three hungry, bored children and no car. I had originally planned to walk to the library, but the heat index was at about 98 million degrees, so that was out since the librarians frown on patrons wearing only their underwear and a baby sling.

So plan B was to stay home and watch a movie. Unfortunately our selection of DVDs which we allow our sons to watch is limited to several Thomas DVDs, a variety of children’s television shows on disc, and Enchanted. Because I wished to make it through the evening sane, I cast the vote for Enchanted and we all settled in to watch it with a healthy dinner of popcorn, carrot sticks, and strawberries.

Some days you just do what you gotta do.

Anyway, later on we had root beer floats so technically they ate from all of the food groups except meat.

We have watched the movie several times with the boys, mostly because it’s the only DVD movie we own that they are allowed to watch and doesn’t make Mommy and Daddy twitch. We also have a couple of songs from the movie on our mp3 players, so the boys know all the words to “Happy Working Song” and “That’s How You Know.” Geniuses they are, I tell you.

Still, after watching this movie at least four or five times, my boys have still managed to miss out on some crucial points, as witnessed to by the following conversation:

warning!!! if you have never seen Enchanted and are planning to, don’t read this because it contains spoilers! And if you haven’t read it it probably won’t make sense anyway. It only sort of made sense to me, and I’ve seen it several times.

Ryan: ew!!! They’re kissing!!!

Sam: On the LIPS!!!

Ryan: But they’re not married! (ah, the innocence of youth. Sigh)

Me: Don’t you think they’re going to get married, though?

Ryan: maybe? But I thought Giselle marries Edward! Why is she kissing Robert?

Me: Giselle doesn’t marry Edward. She married Robert.

Sam: No, Mommy! Giselle loves Edward.

Me: No, she falls in love with Robert instead. Now she loves Robert.

Ryan: So she doesn’t love Edward?

Me: Well, she thought she loved Edward, but then she fell in love with Robert.

Sam: Yeah. So then she married Edward and Robert.

Me: WHAT???

After this, I was forced to sit and contemplate exactly what my sons have been taking away from this movie in all the times they’ve seen it. I mean, how could you watch a movie multiple times and not understand the basic plot and still enjoy it? Upon consideration, apparently the boys enjoy Enchanted for the following reasons:

1. Ogre snot. I mean, you just really can’t go wrong with ogre snot.

2. The part where Edward gets run over by all the bikes. Which is seriously one of the best moments in cinematic  history.

3. The rat falling in the toilet during the “Happy Working Song.” Boys love anything to do with toilets except actually peeing in them, from my personal experience.

4. The dog peeing on Edward’s boot. (again with the urine. What is it with boys anyway?)

chipmonk-ogre-web

There you have it. Four moments from the movie, comprising a total of about one minute of screen time. Don’t ask me what they took away from the rest of the film, except that dragons are scary, that people in Central Park regularly break into song and dance, and that Giselle apparently had two husbands.

I’d like to say there’s hope for them, but since after all this time my hubby still hasn’t figured out which cupboard the measuring cups go in, I’m not optimistic that their powers of observation will greatly increase. I’m just stuck with boys who after all this time had no idea that Nancy actually ran off to Andalasia with Edward. Oh well.

Maybe if I stuck some ogre boogers on the measuring cups it would help.

And by the way, if you haven’t seen Enchanted, you really should. It’s good stuff.

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8 thoughts on “The Observational Powers of Little Boys

  1. Great movie!! Ahhh — my grandsons do me proud – LOL!! Great blog. Maybe the ogre snot would help Art remember were the measuring cups go!!!!

  2. Erin –

    Once again, let me say, with the most sincere appreciation for all things boogers….

    I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!

    You go girl.

    I wish you didn’t live so far away ’cause I want to meet you somewhere and have a chocolate ice cream cone with you (my greatest form of female bonding).

    Any chance you plan to visit Upstate New York in the next decade? We have baseball here…

  3. Actually I am just down the road from you right now, stuck in a motel room in Ames (with a bored 8-year-old) while Barry goes to fire school, but I’m also stapled to my computer (have to work !!10!! hours today) so I cannot suggest we do anything fun. :o/

    I would love to watch Enchanted again. I find new funny things every time I watch that movie.

  4. ha!! My husband doesn’t know where the measuring cups go either! On the other hand, I must say that he is endlessly creative with where they do go. I am forever discovering them in new places just when I had given them up for lost. 🙂

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