Stories in my Pocket: An Old Favorite

stories pocketA month or so ago I discovered Jo’s blog, and soon realized that I had discovered a kindred spirit. Right now our friendship is limited to email, blog comments, and facebook stalking, but if God ever writes in the sky and tells me to move to Maine and become a lobster fisherwoman, I’ll be okay with it as long as I can live near Jo. (They do do lobster fishing in Maine, right?)

I’ve been planning to join in her “Stories in my Pocket” series ever since I first read it, but kept putting it off because I haven’t felt like I had any appropriate topics that were inspiring me to write. However, today she specifically asked for funny stories, and, well, if there’s one thing I am, it’s funny. At least in my own head. 🙂

She said I could link up with my blog entry from last night, but I’ve been meaning for some time to re-publish some of my older writing from when I was blogging over at scrapbook.com. So today I am bringing the shorts-on-the-head story to Together for Good, straight from the historical annals of the Together Family. I originally posted this in June 2006.

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To the Really Hot Guy Who Passed Me on 2nd Avenue This Afternoon:

Yes, I was wearing a pair of royal blue toddler-sized swimming trunks on my head. At least they were dry.

I can explain. I have toddlers. One of them was falling asleep. That was not good.

In this situation a mother must do whatever she can to keep the boy awake until reaching home. Otherwise he will think that the five-minute snooze he had in the car is an acceptable substitute for his normal 2 1/2 hour nap. He will refuse to sleep on his big boy bed. He will therefore be exhausted by 4:30 and cry for 3 1/2 hours till it’s time for him to go to bed.

So I was driving with swimming trunks on my head. My children, for some reason, think that the sight of their mother swerving all over the road with blue toddler-sized shorts pulled down nearly to her eyes is funny. Laughter keeps them awake.

If you had passed us a few minutes earlier, you would have seen that same pair of swimming trunks flying all over the car. My 3-year-old and I were playing catch with them, to the perpetual enjoyment of the sleepy child.

If you had passed us a few minutes later, you would have noticed that I had exchanged the swimming trunks for a Tigger hat with earflaps. I had it on backwards. Winter hats are endlessly entertaining to small children, especially when worn backwards in the car by a grown woman whose too-large head causes the earflaps to stick straight out. In an emergency, one can pretend to sneeze and cause the hat to fall off her head. This generally causes giggles and a certain sleepless feeling.

I did want to thank you for not calling our friendly neighborhood policeman and having him run a breathalizer test. Although I’m sure that would have kept the children entertained and quite awake, it would have made them even later for their nap. And since I know you’ve probably been worrying about me and my sanity all day long, I wanted to let you know that the excercise was not in vain. Both children stayed awake and at least one took a successful nap this afternoon.

I plan to follow the same routine next Thursday, only I thought I’d wear my underwear on my head. Anything for a laugh.

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You can click on the picture at the top to read more stories from our pockets.

Oh, and also, I was tagged by Kazzy so I’m planning to post that later– maybe during Gracie’s noon feeding. I like to live my Saturdays a little crazy around here. 🙂 Right now, though, I must make breakfast for a couple hungry boys and then plunge into the abyss of housework that awaits me.

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6 thoughts on “Stories in my Pocket: An Old Favorite

  1. Oh thank you thank you! I’m so glad you joined in!
    And dear long lost soul sister, you must know that I do the exact same thing. Sometimes I think it is a bigger driving hazard than talking on cell phones or eating fast food…..driving a vehicle while ENTERTAINING in hopes that CAR SLEEP will be avoided.
    Love it!

  2. Oh good! You’re gonna post some of your old one’s from SB.com, i love those.
    One can never have too much laughter in life, and you hand out a great dose of it.
    Thank you
    oh, and by the way, did you get the photo of the whirly waterball thingy i sent? cool toy eh?

  3. Oh, my word – hilarious! I sing at the top of my lungs – either the Banana song, or the B-I-B-L-E or something – to keep Z awake – why is it that they can’t just sleep 5 minutes in the car & then sleep when they get home, too??? 🙂

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