I’m sure I’m some sort of disgrace to the midwest, having never before tonight made zucchini bread. I’m not a gardener, in fact, my thumb is entirely black, and other than an unruly tomato plant we grew one year along the side of our house I’ve never been successful at growing much of anything other than mold in the back of the fridge (and in my sock drawer, but that’s a story for another day).
A few years ago when I was getting all skinny (a condition I have rectified quite thoroughly in the last few years), I was all about the trying of new recipes. Someone at church was giving away zucchini so I took a couple small ones to make parmesan crusted zucchini sticks– sounds yummy, huh? Yeah, I don’t really think so either, but back then I was all crazy and healthy and stuff and somehow this sounded like a good idea. I got those suckers home, cut into one and– it was a cucumber.
And can I just say that parmesan crusted cucumber sticks don’t actually work? Not that I tried or anything.
Anyway, yesterday I noticed a bunch of squash and tomatoes and stuff on the table at work, and upon further investigation discovered that some nice gardeny type had brought them in for us to take. So I filled a ziploc with tomatoes (fresh garden-grown tomatoes are my husband’s love language) and decided to take a zucchini also.
Just to be sure I wasn’t getting a cucumber, I took the biggest one I could find.
When the boys saw that puppy laying on the counter they thought it was a cucumber and laughed really hard at it. So see, it’s a common mistake to make. If, you know, you’re four. Sigh.
Anyway (I’m trying to see how many times I can work that word into one post), tonight I decided to make zucchini bread, which obviously I had never before made. So I did what I always do when I need a recipe; I went to allrecipes.com and looked for the zucchini bread recipe with the highest rating. This method has only failed me once, and that was when I was looking for a biscuit recipe to replace the one I lost when we moved. So far no luck. Feel free to share your yummy biscuit recipes with me in the comments.
My recipe called for 2 cups of grated zucchini, which left me in a conundrum. Exactly how does one grate a zucchini that is almost as large as one’s infant daughter? And also, what about that skin? On or off? And the seeds? I’m so clueless. Thankfully some of my more zucchini-experienced facebook pals were online, as if they were just waiting for a frantic post from someone in desperate need of baked goods.
The jury is apparently out on the to-peel-or-not-to-peel issue, but the first responders said peel so I peeled. And then I got to grate two cups of zucchini, and can I just say that grating zucchini with my cheese grater is not my new favorite pasttime? I used to have a food processor with a neato attachment that would have chopped it up nice and teensy for me, but I accidentally threw all the attachments away with the box and then lost the processor when we moved two times ago. (That last sentence had no bearing on the actual topic of this post. I just thought I’d share).
So after four hours of grating zucchini and another ten minutes of bandaging all the knuckles I had inadvertently grated in the process, I was ready to mix flour and oil and eggs and sugar and cinnamon into a delightful concoction that baked up beautifully and tastes marvelous and appears to have absolutely no connection in any way to a giant squash. The best news is that to get in a full serving of my new favorite vegetable I will have to eat half of what I baked, which was a whole loaf of bread AND a dozen muffins.
That’s a lot of baked goodness, people. I do it for the sake of my health. It’s all about those green vegetables.
All around, my ever-expanding waistline and I think that my first zucchini was a gigantic success.
Just like my thighs.