My First Zucchini

I’m sure I’m some sort of disgrace to the midwest, having never before tonight made zucchini bread. I’m not a gardener, in fact, my thumb is entirely black, and other than an unruly tomato plant we grew one year along the side of our house I’ve never been successful at growing much of anything other than mold in the back of the fridge (and in my sock drawer, but that’s a story for another day).

A few years ago when I was getting all skinny (a condition I have rectified quite thoroughly in the last few years), I was all about the trying of new recipes. Someone at church was giving away zucchini so I took a couple small ones to make parmesan crusted zucchini sticks– sounds yummy, huh? Yeah, I don’t really think so either, but back then I was all crazy and healthy and stuff and somehow this sounded like a good idea. I got those suckers home, cut into one and– it was a cucumber.

And can I just say that parmesan crusted cucumber sticks don’t actually work? Not that I tried or anything.

Anyway, yesterday I noticed a bunch of squash and tomatoes and stuff on the table at work, and upon further investigation discovered that some nice gardeny type had brought them in for us to take. So I filled a ziploc with tomatoes (fresh garden-grown tomatoes are my husband’s love language) and decided to take a zucchini also.

Just to be sure I wasn’t getting a cucumber, I took the biggest one I could find.

zucchini

When the boys saw that puppy laying on the counter they thought it was a cucumber and laughed really hard at it. So see, it’s a common mistake to make. If, you know, you’re four. Sigh.

Anyway (I’m trying to see how many times I can work that word into one post), tonight I decided to make zucchini bread, which obviously I had never before made. So I did what I always do when I need a recipe; I went to allrecipes.com and looked for the zucchini bread recipe with the highest rating. This method has only failed me once, and that was when I was looking for a biscuit recipe to replace the one I lost when we moved. So far no luck. Feel free to share your yummy biscuit recipes with me in the comments.

My recipe called for 2 cups of grated zucchini, which left me in a conundrum. Exactly how does one grate a zucchini that is almost as large as one’s infant daughter? And also, what about that skin? On or off? And the seeds? I’m so clueless. Thankfully some of my more zucchini-experienced facebook pals were online, as if they were just waiting for a frantic post from someone in desperate need of baked goods.

The jury is apparently out on the to-peel-or-not-to-peel issue, but the first responders said peel so I peeled. And then I got to grate two cups of zucchini, and can I just say that grating zucchini with my cheese grater is not my new favorite pasttime? I used to have a food processor with a neato attachment that would have chopped it up nice and teensy for me, but I accidentally threw all the attachments away with the box and then lost the processor when we moved two times ago. (That last sentence had no bearing on the actual topic of this post. I just thought I’d share).

So after four hours of grating zucchini and another ten minutes of bandaging all the knuckles I had inadvertently grated in the process, I was ready to mix flour and oil and eggs and sugar and cinnamon into a delightful concoction that baked up beautifully and tastes marvelous and appears to have absolutely no connection in any way to a giant squash. The best news is that to get in a full serving of my new favorite vegetable I will have to eat half of what I baked, which was a whole loaf of bread AND a dozen muffins.

That’s a lot of baked goodness, people. I do it for the sake of my health. It’s all about those green vegetables.

All around, my ever-expanding waistline and I think that my first zucchini was a gigantic success.

Just like my thighs.

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10 thoughts on “My First Zucchini

  1. What does it taste like? Zucchini bread scares me.

    And I’m going to be watching this post for a good biscuit recipe. Hopefully all of your bloggy friends won’t fail you!

    • It tastes absolutely nothing like it has any kind of vegetable in it at all. And the zucchini was grated really fine so it just kind of melted into the bread. Seriously. Mostly you taste the cinnamon. And also the chocolate chips. Because did I mention the chocolate chips? There were chocolate chips.

  2. I’ve got a great biscuit recipe! You go to the store, and you buy a package of biscuits, and then you come home and eat them.

    Yummy! It’s an old family recipe.

  3. Another is cinnamon rolls that come in a tube – very easy to make – LOL. I do like zucchini bread, too. Of course, I like anything that is home cooked!!

  4. Last year my zucchini plants (2), went crazy and were giving me zukes every day. My kids said, “well ma, since there is so much Zucchini, you should make us all bread!”…well ok then. I made 30, give or take, loafs of zuke bread. Anyone come near me with a Zuke this year and they are doomed!
    But it was delicious!

  5. Love it! Got the biggest one you could find, to make sure it wasn’t a cucumber…. *sigh* thanks for making me wet myself.

  6. My recipe for biscuits:
    1. buy a box of bisquick, not the low-fat kind.
    2. follow the directions on the box.
    3. works every time.

  7. I’m SO glad you shared this about the grating & all – I was given a really large zucchini tonight, and am planning to make zucchini bread for the first time ever sometime next week, so I need these tips. 🙂

  8. Small zucchini have mild flavored skin, so you can cook them up any old way without having to peel. The super large zucchini though have a bitter taste to the skin and if you don’t peel it off before using the flesh you will get that bitterness in whatever you are cooking. With the largest ones I also core them to remove the huge seeds.

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