09/09/09

I am getting all crazy and creative today (ha!) and posting a list of nine things in honor of today’s date. Well, actually, I’m going to post nine lists of nine things, because that’s how I roll. Just be thankful I’m not posting nine lists of nine lists of nine things.

Wow. I’m feeling a bit ridiculous today.

So anyway–

LIST ONE– THINGS I COULD LIVE WITHOUT, BUT ONLY UNDER DURESS
1. My laptop
2. Coffee
3. The internet
4. Ice cream
5. Exclamation points
6. Music
7. Email, Facebook, and my blog
8. Chocolate
9. Paper

LIST TWO– THINGS I WOULD BE HAPPY TO NEVER SEE OR EXPERIENCE EVER, EVER AGAIN
1. Sauerkraut
2. Crickets
3. The handwashing video they show at training meetings where they rub a piece of bloody raw chicken all over the counters
4. One of the twins at work shrieking in my ear
5. Acne
6. Grocery shopping with all three kids along
7. Having a plantar’s wart removed from the bottom of my foot
8. Tuna
9. Tapirs

LIST THREE– OBSESSIONS MY CHILDREN HAVE THAT I DO NOT APPROVE OF
1. Thomas the Tank Engine
2. Touching every freshly cleaned mirror and window in my house
3. Building spiderwebs
4. Talking to the Little One in a really high-pitched voice
5. Telling me every single thing that is going through their minds at any given point throughout the day
6. Elmo
7. Art projects involving 100 sheets of paper held together by the contents of 4 glue sticks
8. The Star Wars Lego t-shirt
9. And also, the blue athletic shorts with the light blue stripe down the side

LIST FOUR– CAREERS I HAVE CONSIDERED AT SOME POINT DURING MY LIFE
1. Teacher
2. Speech pathologist
3. Social worker
4. Author
5. Journalist
6. Missionary
7. Doting stay-at-home mother
8. Scrapbook consultant
9. Miner

LIST FIVE– JOBS I HAVE ACTUALLY HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Babysitter
2. Paper girl
3. Creator of Whoppers
4. Barista
5. Dishwasher
6. Daycare slave
7. Receptionist
8. Cleaning lady
9. Sample lady

LIST SIX– COLLECTIONS I HAVE HAD
1. Rocks
2. Porcelain dolls
3. Elephants
4. Books
5. Snowmen
6. Junk
7. Paper
8. Dust
9. Moldy food in the back of my refridgerator

LIST SEVEN– THINGS I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF DOING
1. Driving a car with a manual transmission
2. The splits
3. Any sort of anything requiring balance or flexibility
4. Running
5. Opening medicine bottles
6. Staying serious for more than two hours at a time
7. Eating gross food
8. Going more than three hours without chewing gum
9. Ice skating

LIST EIGHT– THINGS I REALLY KIND OF WISH PEOPLE WOULDN’T DO
1. Invade my bubble
2. Tailgate
3. Yell in my ear
4. Rev their loud motors outside my open windows at 11:00 pm.
5. Wear clothes with bad words that I have to explain to my impressionable munchkins
6. Let their kids play football in my front yard without bothering to ask if that’s okay
7. Show six inches of cleavage and/or butt crack
8. Find my blog making searches for “cute fuzzy sweet adorable lovey-dovey baby puppykinses”
9. Ride their bikes through my flowerbed

LIST NINE– THINGS PEOPLE PROBABLY KIND IF WISH I WOULDN’T DO
1. Forget to brush my hair
2. Bring my children out in public
3. Chew gum constantly
4. Overshare. A lot.
5. Refuse to be serious
6. Forget everything
7. Run late
8. Neglect makeup
9. Post stupid blogs that waste their time

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11 thoughts on “09/09/09

  1. Wahahahahaha, miner. That would be amazing. 🙂 and when you say Creator of Whoppers, is that a fancy way of saying Liar, or did you actually make candy? That sounds sort of awesome.

  2. hmmm… i wasn’t thinking candy, i was thinking more along the lines of burger king LOL!

    so, seriously, you really considered being a MINER??? LOL!

    and dude, send the saurekraut my way. i HEART saurekraut.

  3. I hope you know that you are ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY OUT AND OUT NUTS!
    And i love every bitty bit of it.
    Now, gotta go br cuz i peeeeeed my you know whats while laughing at your 9of 9of 9 list.
    bye

  4. Here’s the story about the miner. When she was little, the Princess had a rock collection which included geodes, stones from the driveway, rocks picked up at various vacation spots, and probably several million random grains of sand. She kept the collection in various boxes in her closet, under her bed, and in the middle of her bedroom floor. I presume that one day she cast about in her mind for a profession that could include her rocks, and came up with miner. Her mother told her she should go for jeweler instead.

  5. Basically, you just created yourself a meme…I totally thought that’s what it was at first…and really enjoyed reading it…I’m half-inspired to fill one out myself (and link you, of course.) But, not without the Pricesses permission. 😉

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