The Baby’s Guide to Dating

Dating is very important if you are ever going to find the perfect mate. Most parents will allow you to date when you are a baby and toddler, and then will expect you to stop dating until you are forty-two. That’s why it’s best to have as many dates while your parents still think it’s cute.

Once you have found a dateable someone to spend time with, you need an activity.

We suggest dinner.

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You can learn a lot about a person by seeing how they eat their mashed potatoes.

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Dinner is also a great opportunity for conversation.

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Just be sure to be a good listener and not dominate the conversation.

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Make sure you laugh at your date’s jokes.

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Laughter is good for relationships, you know.

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Don’t try too hard to impress your date.

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You should always look for someone who will accept you just as you are.

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And if you’re going to hold hands, make sure you do it while someone’s got the camera handy.

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After all, you might not get another date for forty-one and a half years. Might as well make this one memorable!

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