The Baby’s Guide to Dating

Dating is very important if you are ever going to find the perfect mate. Most parents will allow you to date when you are a baby and toddler, and then will expect you to stop dating until you are forty-two. That’s why it’s best to have as many dates while your parents still think it’s cute.

Once you have found a dateable someone to spend time with, you need an activity.

We suggest dinner.


You can learn a lot about a person by seeing how they eat their mashed potatoes.


Dinner is also a great opportunity for conversation.


Just be sure to be a good listener and not dominate the conversation.


Make sure you laugh at your date’s jokes.


Laughter is good for relationships, you know.


Don’t try too hard to impress your date.


You should always look for someone who will accept you just as you are.


And if you’re going to hold hands, make sure you do it while someone’s got the camera handy.


After all, you might not get another date for forty-one and a half years. Might as well make this one memorable!


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