Tonight at AWANA the Sparks got to take their hard-earned Sparky Bucks to the Sparky Store to buy Sparky Stuff.
Last time Bubs brought home a drum, so you can imagine my joy and anticipation this time. Although really, what are they going to send him home with that’s worse than a drum? It’s church, so it’s unlikely they’re going to give him brown liquor and a bag of sugar.
My son came home with a Target bag brimming with sensible Sparky Store purchases.
Like the fake glasses with the big plastic nose attached. Useful when you want to be incognito for your next big detective case.
(Yesterday he told Art that he was going to make a newspaper disguise. Which is apparently just a newspaper, which he will sit on the couch with and pretend to read, but really he’ll be listening. Because we would under no circumstances be suspicious of a seven-year-old kid reading a newspaper on our couch.)
Anyway, he also used his Sparky Bucks to buy a pack of those just-add-water magic growing sponge animal things and a magnifying glass. He’s been wanting a magnifying glass since his old one mysteriously disappeared. I mean, how can you solve The Case of the Mysteriously Missing Magnifier if you don’t have a magnifying glass? It’s a good thing he was able to pick one of those up at the Sparky Store, because his regular allowance money for the next three years is going to have to pay for the door frame that he and Stinky broke the other night. Possibly six years. They don’t get very much. And there’s interest, you know.
After Bubba had selected items for his Detective Box and restocked us with choking hazards for several more months, he decided to spend the remainder of his Sparky Bucks on stuffed animals. Neither of my sons ever had much interest in stuffed animals except for a couple special ones until recently. They found a stash of Happy Meal toys from Hotel for Dogs, and suddenly both my sons are sleeping with teensy stuffed puppies in their beds every night, and they all have names like Rose and Misha and Lou.
So tonight at the Sparky Store, when Bubs saw the pile of Beanie Babies, he went a little nuts. I don’t even know how many he brought home because I got a teeny bit fixated when he pulled these out of his bag.
He told me he got them because they were so cute and seemed baffled that I thought it was weird that my seven-year-old son who spends his afternoons running around the backyard shooting fake guns at his brother and pretending to blow things up, whose favorite shirt is a Lego Star Wars tee I picked up on clearance at WalMart and whose favorite shorts are camouflage, chose to buy wedding bears.
Then he told me that he had decided to buy them instead of a bag of candy. And I decided to forgive him.
Because apparently my church was giving away bags of sugar tonight.
The things we will do to make our kids learn their verses.
What’s next, brown liquor?