As your parents, we have always tried to encourage you to follow your dreams. When you wanted to be train engineers, we bought you train tracks and took you to see the train display at the Fair. When you wanted to be astronauts, we checked out you books about space and let you use your watercolors to paint space shuttles. When you wanted to be the Swedish Chef, we watched countless Muppet videos on YouTube and even taught the baby to say “Bork bork bork!”
And now you want to be detectives. We listen to the clues you have found in the cases you are attempting to solve. We rejoice with you when you find disguises on the cheap at the Sparky Store. We read all your coded messages, and trust me when I say that your first-grade spelling does not make cracking your codes any easier. We even allowed you to make the Lisuner 2000.
But today, my sons, you have gone too far.
Putting your sister in a disguise and hiding her in the bushes to spy on us? That is just not okay, little darlings.
I don’t know what you are expecting from her, since she can’t even figure out which end of the walkie-talkie to talk into.
I just think that 51 weeks old is far too young for my daughter to be a secret agent. I mean, what’s next? Will you be dyeing her hair pink and sending her undercover to some exotic far-away place?
It’s a slippery slope, I tell you.
P.S. I hope you remember this when she wants you to dress up like pretty pretty princesses.