Slapdash Saturday edition 8: Musings by the Mother of the Year

Today I took my sons to the Dollar Tree and allowed them to spend $2.12 apiece. They each got a package of balloons. Stinky got a Hot Wheels car he could have gotten for $.85 at Walmart. Bubs got a non-working yo-yo. By the time we left, I felt like I had been beat over the head with my own left leg. They are just so– everywhere. Constantly. I try to keep them close and help them be more aware of the other people in the aisle with them but they are in all ways clueless.

While we were there I vetoed a robot costume, a water gun, a non-water gun, a container of slime, a slinky, a magic trick set, a package of water balloons, and a water gun. I think I got off pretty easy, even if the non-working yo-yo does have a yu-gi-oh picture on it. I am not a fan of the yu-gi-oh. I don’t even think I’m spelling it right and I so do not care.

Today was Stinky’s second t-ball game. The field is at this park by a big pond. The closest parking spot was on the other side of the pond. So we parked the car and all walked around the pond, then realized we had forgotten my chair, so Art and Bubs went back to get it while I stayed with the baby and attempted to feed her carrots, which she joyfully chucked on the ground.

In the middle of the game Stinky suddenly bolted from his position at home plate, where he had been studiously chewing on his glove, and ran to Art. “I have to go to the bathroom!”

Guess where the nearest port-a-john is? That’s right. Back by our van.

Then, five minutes later I realized it was our day to bring snacks and I had totally forgotten. So I had to go back to the van, drive to the store, find the juice boxes and the nutty bars, drive back to the park, park the van, and walk briskly (I don’t run unless someone’s life is in danger). I arrived back at the game just in time to see them all giving high-fives to the other team. After we had passed out the treats to the little vultures darlings, I realized we had left the baby by herself in her stroller back next to my chair, which I had sat in for a grand total of five minutes.

I’m sure the other t-ball parents were very impressed with my mad mothering skills.

Anyway, since this hasn’t been particularly slapdashy, I now present you with a fabulously exciting new feature:

THINGS I SAID THIS WEEK ON FACEBOOK

(Because I amuse myself. And I can’t think of anything else to write anyway.)

Monday

hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to.

Tuesday

Please put this on your status if you know, or are related to, someone killed on the Death Star. My wish for 2010 is that people will understand that the Alliance is a band of rebel scum. The Empire wants only to bring peace to the galaxy, but these rebels continue to kill our brave brothers in white…93% won’t copy and paste this. Will YOU make this your status for at least one hour?

Wednesday

The glazed look in my eyes as Sam describes yet another exploding rocket thing can only be matched by the glazed look in his eyes as I remind him yet again to pick up his toys.

Thursday

Hello, morning. We really need to stop meeting like this.

Please put this on your status if you know a Giraffe or have ever seen a Giraffe fall of a mountain and die. My wish for 2010 is that people will understand that Thursday is a sad day. 42% won’t copy and paste this. Will YOU make a difference in the lives of these Giraffes and their loved ones by posting this as your status for at least one hour?

Friday

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? My eyes do blink in shock, for ’tis the sun!

“Give Art Kilmer a match & he’ll be warm for a minute. Set him on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”

Saturday

Erin Kilmer is writing about herself in the third person this morning.

There now. Don’t you just feel truly enlightened now? Isn’t your life so much better?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

What you really should do is go here to yesterday’s post and read the people who linked up for Flashback Friday. Good stuff there!

May your weekend be less ridiculous than mine is shaping up to be. 🙂



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10 thoughts on “Slapdash Saturday edition 8: Musings by the Mother of the Year

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Slapdash Saturday edition 8: Musings by the Mother of the Year « Together for Good -- Topsy.com

  2. Erin, your too funny… How long was Gracie by herself? I bet if all the moms were honest with themselves they had probably all done something like that at one time or other ;o) Randy and I forgot Haylee in the car when we were helping with VBS, she was in there for about 45 minutes, thank God it wasnt a really hot day.

  3. i like you. 🙂

    i’m impressed that you took your boys to the dollar tree. just the thought of it would have been enough to talk me out of ever suggesting it.

    my children often have gift cards for Michael’s & Borders months after their b-days because it takes me FOREVER to muster up the energy to stand by for HOURS while they choose how to spend their $.
    we just promised noah we would take take him to Toy’s R Us tomorrow to spend a gift card. ergghhh, hours of my life soon to be wasted while my son decides the best way to spend $15.00.

    too bad about the giraffes falling off mountains and dieing. i like giraffes. did you know that a giraffes tongue is the length of your elbow to your finger tips (i learned this home schooling).

  4. the dollar store is so not my favorite place… and i hate to tell you… when they are 13 & 16 you will still be reminding them to be aware of the other people in the aisle. arghhhh.

    your crazy t-ball story made me tired and out of breath! i guess because i recall this happening a time or two at tennis. but not leaving the baby in the stroller by herself. nope… at least not at tennis 🙂

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