Just Write– or, a Post about Not Much and Everything.

Just write, she says, but I don’t know what to say. I open up this laptop and the words just kind of fizzle.

I’m pretty sure they were there not too long ago.

I don’t know what to say when the paper and the binders and the school books and the library books and a wet washcloth– really?– and all the shoes are jumbled all over the floor instead of tidy on the shelf. I should have had them clean up before I sent them to their rooms for a quiet hour.

I really just wanted them to go away for a bit. So we skipped the cleaning up stage.

I don’t know what to say with the dishwasher sloshing away in the kitchen. It’s so loud. Why is it so loud? I can’t hear myself think over it. I feel kind of broken today.

I haven’t painted my toenails since before the fourth of July, and they mock me over the top of my screen with their ugly unpainted yuckness. How can I know what to say when my toenails look like that?

It’s not that I have nothing to say. You should know that. It’s that there’s too much squished in there, all roiling close to the surface, and when I try to let it out a little at a time it gets all jumbled up into a mess of homeschooling and cute things my kids did and why does the boys bathroom smell so bad and seriously? the toenails? and life and future and I made this delicious recipe and I need to print some pictures and I sometimes wonder if I really understand grace and well, who wants to read a stew of that?

Just write, she says. I don’t know what to say. It seems like it’s either nothing or everything.

Usually it ends up being nothing until everything settles and I can find the something that floats to the top again.

Just write, she says.

So I do.

 

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8 thoughts on “Just Write– or, a Post about Not Much and Everything.

  1. I thought about you on Sunday when I *finally* took off my old polish and painted my toenails. It took less than 10 minutes, and I feel so much better. Just DO IT!

    Love ya.

  2. First of all. I’m so glad you wrote this post. I was thinking yesterday that I just wanted to go to someone else’s dirty house so I would feel better about how my house looks. You are just so real life and I was needing a glimpse into someone’s real life because life has been very overwhelming lately. Nothing big just a lot of jabberings, questions, shoes, coats, toys, messes, crushed crackers wherever we had snack, meals, dirty dishes, etc…
    Second…you should really just paint your toenails. I did a couple weeks ago and I felt SO much better after they looked nice and bright again. Bowl of ice cream, some nail polish and maybe a nice, hot bubble bath is just what you need.

  3. erin,
    first, you have a gift. a writing gift, in the nothing and the something.
    and God is glorified in it all. he is. every time i sit down with you, i see Him.

    and i wish i would go to a bloggy conference thingy too WITH YOU. but really i think i’d enjoy having you all to myself then having to share you with 200 other women.

  4. Pingback: Diapers and His Presence « Together for Good

  5. Pingback: Diapers and His Presence « Together for Good

  6. well. see? You said a lot. You said what so many of us feel so much of the time and that connection is just the thing that writing is about. Thank you for that.
    xo

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