At the Beginning

Nine days into the New Year, and I finally have the courage to put words in this space. The New Year seems big, and open, full of possibility, and it freezes me when I think about writing about the big and the open.

I prefer to write about the small. Pictures of my children and stories of this little life we build here. Just that sort of thing.

During the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day I think, and I wonder, what does God want from me in the New Year? I am afraid of resolutions, afraid of failure, afraid to not finish what I start– a pattern in me, a weakness in my character. And yet– the drop of the ball and the start of something new call me anyway.

What does God want from me?

This year ahead, it holds change. I can feel it, sense it. I know it and I must believe it. Things will change, big and small, and who will I be throughout the change? And what can I do in the middle of my messy days to weather the change, to be the wife and mom and daughter and sister and friend and person and Christ-follower that I am supposed to be?

And the day before the New Year dawns, He tells me, not in a long list of resolutions, not in guilt for all I am not and all I should be, but in a word. One little word.

Glorify, He says to me. Glorify me.

And can it be this simple? Can I make a beautiful start in this New Year simply by wearing one little word like glasses, seeing everything I do through their filter? Can I glorify Him as I load the dishwasher, sweep the floor, read Robin Hood, kiss my husband, hug my children, prepare meals? And if I can do these things, in His strength for His glory, can He change me?

What if I could let go of this fear of failure, of this dreadful track record, of the burdens of the person I think I should be, and just choose in each moment to glorify?

What would my life look like on December 31, 2012? Could I look back without regret?

Time to step out . . . time to try.

In my life Lord, be glorified.

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5 thoughts on “At the Beginning

  1. Erin, thanks for these thoughts. What a great challenge and a wonderful way to put goals for the new year–for today–into perspective.

  2. I love this a million. It’s ok to be afraid of it, that’s when we have the chance to be brave, to take steps in faith. I think you’re going to love this process of learning how to glorify. I know I am already being tested in my resolve to release, but it’s good. 🙂 xx

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