I’m not perfect.
Anyone who knows me just snorted in a “duh, Erin” kind of way. But sometimes . . .
I think anyone with a blog or an online presence (even a tiny one like mine) struggles with presenting themselves in a way that is honest without being humiliating. I’m no different. I spent five minutes the other morning contemplating which picture to put online, and I based my decision purely on which one made my stomach rolls look the least offensive.
But I think that maybe if you read my posts about curriculum and organizing, you might have thought, “Wow, she has it all together. I wish I had the time and energy to do _______ in my home school. I’m such a failure!” So I want to set the record straight, because I have felt that way SO many times reading other blogs. And a sense of failure isn’t particularly helpful for any of us, unless that sense is coming from the Holy Spirit. In which case, quit reading my blog because this isn’t where you need to be right now. 😉
Let me tell you about my home, right now.
- I have three bathrooms and only one of them has been cleaned in the last three weeks. And that one needs to be cleaned again too.
- I haven’t made my bed in a week.
- The end table next to my comfy chair, where I do computery things and sit to watch TV, is completely overflowing with what my children call “Mom’s mess.” Most of my mess is paper trash that just needs to be thrown away.
- When we came home from our recent trip to Art’s grandfather’s house, I put a bunch of dishes away in our newly-acquired china hutch without washing any of it. So now if I want to use it I have to wash it all.
- My refrigerator is stuffed so full of old food that it’s like putting a puzzle together to fit anything in there at all.
- The flowerbeds look dreadful.
- From where I’m sitting, I can see three boxes that still need to be unpacked.
- At the bottom of the stairs is an opened package of toilet paper that has been waiting to go to the upstairs bathroom since Monday night.
- Last night we didn’t eat dinner till seven o’clock because I didn’t start cooking it till six.
- Yesterday I completely lost my temper with Squeezy because she didn’t want to paint and I had spent ten minutes getting the paints all set up for her.
- On Thursday evenings the boys are supposed to help me cook dinner (I’m trying to teach them basic kitchen skills, right?), but most weeks I come up with an excuse for them not to help me because they drive me CRAZY with how slow and clumsy they are in the kitchen.
- A blanket and a sheet are hanging on my clothesline. They have been there since Tuesday morning. I keep forgetting to bring them in.
There’s more. There is SO MUCH MORE. If you could be a fly on the wall in my house you would undoubtedly be slightly grossed out by the mess and totally shocked at the ugliness that I am capable of.
But the point of this blog post isn’t to bash myself or point out all my faults. It’s to say that I’m not perfect and it’s okay that you’re not either. It’s okay if the thought of homeschooling makes you want to run away screaming. It’s okay if you haven’t washed your dishes in four days and had to eat dinner last night on napkins. It’s okay if you were due for a shower on Tuesday and now it’s Thursday and you’re not sure if it’s going to happen today. It’s okay if you don’t have detailed lesson plans, or if you never to art projects with your kids, or if you gave yourself the afternoon off yesterday and let the kids watch DVDs for five hours. It’s okay if your idea of a home-cooked meal is boiling the hot dogs instead of microwaving them.
It’s okay if you’re not Supermom.
Sometimes we need to recognize bad habits and laziness in ourselves and work to overcome them. But sometimes we need to be reminded that there is no such thing as a perfect mom, and that nobody has enough time or energy in her day to do and be everything. Everyone has to make choices about what her priorities will be. And once we’ve chosen our priorities, all we can do is our best.
And your best, with God’s grace, is enough.