2013 In Review– Squeezy Edition

All the following precious memories come from facebook.

January 1 Trying on her new princess dress-up clothes. I told her to look fabulous and this is how she posed.

January 4 This morning, at about 12:30, Squeezy’s crying woke me up. When I went in and asked her what was wrong, her reply was, “I’m afraid of my arm.” Sorry, kiddo. I have no idea how to help you with that one.

January 18

January 22 Tonight, while I was combing Squeezy’s hair after her bath: “MOMMY!!! Don’t pull my hair all out! God made my hair!!!”

January 23 Squeezy: OW OW OW!!!! OW OW OW OW OWWWWWW!
Me: Oh dear. What happened!
Squeezy: (whimper-whining) I got HURT!
Me: You did? Are you going to be okay?
Squeezy: (suddenly perfectly fine) Yes. God heals me.

Squeezy: DADDY! I didn’t wear any panties to JOY Club tonight!
Art: You didn’t?
Squeezy: No! I took them off!
Art: When did you take them off?
Squeezy: A month ago.

February 4

February 7 “And one day Jesus was up in heaven, because that’s where He lives, and I just was breakin’ out my crock pot because I had to buy a new one because my brown one broke, so I had to buy a new pink crock pot, and I had to buy some new knives because my other ones broke because sometimes things break. So one day before Meeny-Mo was born, well, Auntie Laura took good care of her and she was very boring and she didn’t get all better. But Auntie Laura took good care of her because she was sick, so God prayed for her so she can get healed all better. Jesus is gonna make her all better so that she can be all better cuz she’s a little girl.”

February 8 “Peacock, peacock, what do you see? I see a . . . um . . . purple thing looking at me!!!”

February 11 Squeezy is curled up in a chair with a hymnbook, making up songs to sing. In falsetto.

February 22 Our neighbor is out plowing the sidewalk, and Squeezy got all excited. “Oh look! He’s vacuuming the snow!!!”

February 28 Squeezy, screaming at the top of her very angry lungs: DON’T SAY I’M NAUGHTY!!!! I’M NICE!!! I’M NICE!!!!!

March 4 “Mommy, when I was a baby I was scared to go in the carwash and I stuck my fingers in my ears and closed my eyes and put a blanket on my head and I cried. Awwwww. Isn’t that sad?”
“Squeezy, that happened three minutes ago.”

March 6 “Oh, Mommy, this is just such hard work for me!” –SQUEEZY, who is currently LYING on the couch, shaking the Wii Remote so that her Mii will run on the Wii Fit. (As I was typing this, she added “My arm hurts!”)

Squeezy has had a very adventuresome evening. For dinner she had a hot dog, a chocolate chip pancake, some broccoli cheese rice, and some grapes. And then at JOY Club she had Daniel thrown into the dentist.

March 8 Squeezy just told me that she learned about Zeus at story time at the library. That would be Doctor Seuss.

March 9 Squeezy: Excuse me, I burped.
Me: You’re excused.
Squeezy: That’s what you think.

March 11 “Mommy, I have underpants but it’s not the boys’ business.”

“Mommy, what do octagons taste like?”
“Um . . . ?”
“Do octagons taste like cucumbers? Or peppers?”

March 21 Gracie has started telling everyone in our family that they smell like Boba Fett. This seems like a good time for some hashtags. #nerdfamilyinsults #suchasweetchild #ineveractuallyusetwitter

March 22 “Mommy! Tomorrow Erika is coming over to babysit! And I’m going to bring my babies down from my room so she can sit on them!”

March 30

April 7 “Mommy, we’re both princesses. I’m Cinderella and you’re Darth Vader.”

April 17 Squeezy is playing a recognizable tune on the piano. She’s a genius, I tell you.

April 19 Squeezy just Febreezed the walls in her bedroom. It’s kind of one of those days.

April 23

April 24 Squeezy (for the twentieth time in five minutes): Mr. Hamilton said that if I jump over the track he will spank my butt.
Me: Okay. Please stop saying that.
Squeezy: Can I say “gutterball”?
Me: Um, yes?
Squeezy: Mr. Hamilton is going to spank my gutterball if I jump over the track.

April 26

May 2 “Look, Mommy! It’s Cinderella! She’s a beautiful princess!”
“Are you a beautiful princess?”
“Is Mommy a beautiful princess?”
“No, you’re a baboon bottom.” (thank you, older brothers, for teaching her THIS delightful concept)
“Gracie, that isn’t a nice thing to say. You need to say kind words.”
“Oh.” (thinks for a moment) “Mommy, you’re a tower. A tower is a nice thing, right? A tower is a kind word!”

May 4 “Hethaly Father, I’m sorry my tummy hurts. I hope it doesn’t hurt soon. I love Mommy and Daddy and they take good care of me. In Jesus name, Amen.”

May 22 “Mommy, I’m not going to be nice to my friends.”
“You’re not?”
“No! I don’t want to be nice to them.”
“Where are you going to see friends?”
“In America.”


May 25 You may be a little girl with big brothers if, at age 4, you know the difference between R2D2 and R3D5.

June 1 “You know what? I have some exciting news. God is HERE!!!” –Squeezy, explaining why we don’t have to be afraid of lightning and thunder

June 5 The later it gets, and the more tired she gets, the louder and weirder Squeezy becomes. Which is why tonight, as we were driving home from Omaha about an hour after her normal bedtime, she yelled to me “MOMMY IS BABY JESUS A HIM OR A SHE?”

June 11 Squeezy just told me that the sunshine is cute.

So my mom was explaining to Squeezy about the difference between sunrise and sunset. And she explained that sunrise is when the sun comes up. At which point, this is what Squeezy said: “But sometimes the sun doesn’t come up. It just stays in the ground. And sometimes there are butterflies! And a big doggie opened his mouth right up and CHOMP he ate a butterfly!”

June 15 Squeezy, holding her waffle in front of her and shaking it back and forth: “Mommy! Look! My waffle is exercising!”

June 18 Squeezy, sticking her fingers in the eyes of her doll: “Mommy, Polly doesn’t have nice eyes. She has finger eyes.”

June 21 “Mommy, even if it’s right-side-up it’ll still be upside-down.”

June 28

July 2 “Mommy, I only have four pairs of socks on.”

July 4

This picture pretty much sums up how Gracie felt about the fireworks tonight.

July 6 “Mommy! I’m sitting in front of the vent! This heater is so cold! Brrrrr!”

July 7 Squeezy is doing a special interpretive dance to Tenth Avenue North’s song “Worn,” which she refers to as the “YASHES” song.

July 16 Today DP and Squeezy made aliens out of egg carton cups. Squeezy named her girl alien “Olivia Olydia” and her boy alien “Diowa Iowa.”

July 21 I was helping Squeezy get dressed, and I accidentally scratched her leg.
Squeezy: Owie Mommy! Now I’m going to get a big red scratch!
Me: I’m so very sorry. Are you going to be okay?
Squeezy: No, I don’t think so.
Me: Oh. Well, should I cut your leg off?
Squeezy: No! Because then I wouldn’t be able to wear my pants!
Me: Oh dear, how embarrassing! And how would you wear your underwear?
Squeezy: I’d just have to wear them on my head!

July 25 Things I never thought I’d say to my daughter: “Please do not pretend the Bible is a bomb.” She’s pretending to be Agent 99.

July 28 Today Squeezy asked for something “Pretty please with cream and sugar.” #welovecoffeeinourhouse #girlknowshowtogetwhatshewants

July 30

August 1 Squeezy just came in and said “Mommy, it’s starting to sprinkle” and then she put on her life jacket. She’s ready for anything, my girl is.\

August 9 Squeezy is working on her tumbling passes. Currently they involve yelling “THREE TWO ONE GO!!!” then bouncing three times in place and going into a very fast somersault. She only learned to do the somersaults yesterday and she’s already really good and fast at them.

August 14 Squeezy just asked me to empty her memory card, and I found a bunch of pictures she took while she was supposed to be taking a nap . . .

August 15 “If you’re happy in your nose, clap your hands . . .”

August 17

August 22

August 29 Squeezy just spun around until she was dizzy and then said, “WHOA! The room is wiggling me up!”

September 4 DP is currently studying castles, and now Squeezy is obsessed with castle toilets and bathroom habits during the middle ages. Lovely. She’s such a princess.

“MOMMY! This is a CASTLE and it’s HUGE. It’s as big as a PLANET. It’s even bigger than a GIGANTIC M&M!!!!”

September 14 “It was just, like, so funny.” –Squeezy, age 4 going on 14-year-old valley girl, apparently.

September 15 Squeezy just paused from pounding on the piano to instruct me, “Mommy, after I play, you clap.” yes, ma’am.

September 18 Squeezy has been singing “Jingle Bells” a lot lately, only she doesn’t know the words to the verses so she just sings “Dashes through the snow, dashes through the snow, dashes through the snow . . .” And all I can think of is, WHY dashes? Why not other punctuation marks, like semicolons or ellipses or even quotation marks? Why do the dashes get all the fun?

September 22 Squeezy is sitting on the couch cuddling and rocking her dolly Jayna and also a pumpkin.

September 27 Somebody in our house tooted loudly, and Squeezy declared that it was “awesome.” #youmighthavebigbrothersif

October 8 We’re watching Despicable Me and Squeezy keeps calling the minions “unions.”

October 14 Yesterday in church, while the rest of us sang “In My Heart there Rings a Melody,” Squeezy sang “In My Heart There Rings a Meeny-Mo” in honor of her cousin.

October 19

October 21

October 27 “Mommy, when I tripped over my knees, I did a handstand.”

October 30 Squeezy just had her half birthday, and now I keep hearing things like, “Mommy, since I’m 4 1/2 now I can do THIS,” followed by some random tumbling move or other acrobatic feat. Just now she told me that since she’s 4 1/2 she’s not in preschool anymore; she’s in fifth grade.

October 31

October 31 So I halfheartedly dressed up as a cowgirl today, but Squeezy kept calling me a “girl cowboy.” This really bugged the boys, who kept correcting her, at which point she started calling me a “girlboy.” Thanks for that, my sons. That’s way better.

November 1 Mr. Incredible: Every Super has a secret identity; I don’t know a single one who doesn’t. I mean, who wants the pressure of being super all the time?
Squeezy: I do!!!

November 3 Squeezy is sitting in a laundry basket singing the Hallelujah chorus at the top of her lungs.

November 7

November 11 Squeezy is singing a Christmas carol: “oh comma, let us store him.”

November 16 Interesting factoid: the more Squeezy compliments my cooking, the less she actually likes what she’s eating.

November 17 Squeezy, singing Christmas carols again: “Deck the halls with boughs and bellies!”

November 23 a little girl in a pumpkin princess dress has been chattering at me nonstop about the intricacies of all her UNO cards for the last fifteen minutes.

November 24 “Mommy! Guess what! I drawed an ostrich!”
“You didi? Can I see it?”
“Well, it looks kind of like a cow.”

November 25 My genius daughter has taught herself how to play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on the piano.

December 1 “We wish you were merry, Christmas!” or “We wish you were Merry Christmas!” –not sure whether the comma should be there or not, but this is Squeezy’s carol of the day.

December 4 “Did you toot, [brother who shall remain nameless]? Now it doesn’t smell like brownies anymore!”

December 7 Squeezy’s been taking tumbling classes for about five months. When she started trying to do backbends, she could barely get her bottom off the floor. Now check her out!

December 13 Squeezy was “helping” me in the fitting room tonight and was fascinated by my belly. After three babies and a big weight loss, it’s definitely not supermodel material! But she was very sweet and serious when she said, “When I’m a big grown-up, then I can have a tummy like that.” I wish I could accept my imperfections the same way she does! Having a daughter sure does teach me a lot.

December 15

December 16 Me, yelling up the stairs: Squeezy, why are you crying?
Squeezy: I’m not!
DP: She’s just pretending to be a Wookiee!!

December 20

December 22 Squeezy’s new favorite thing is telling the boys that she got them princess underwear for Christmas.

December 23

December 24 one of our children was quite unhappy about having to clean on Christmas Eve (as opposed to schlumping aimlessly around the house out of boredom, causing problems with his siblings), and Squeezy told him, “Don’t be sad! It’s Christmas Eve! It’s a JOYFUL DAY!”

From a hyperactive preschooler jumping on the couch: “TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS DAY!!! I’M SO EXCITING!!! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!” We’ll either have peace on earth or the apocalypse. Not sure which.

December 25

December 29 “Mommy, when I’m a hundred will somebody eat me?”
#wheredoesshecomeupwiththisstuff #mykidiscrazy #motherhood #ineedmoresleep


3 thoughts on “2013 In Review– Squeezy Edition

  1. She is so adorable and so funny!! I am always amazed at what she comes up with!! I have an amazing grand daughter!!!

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