Just Thanks

It is late, and I am exhausted, but I couldn’t go to bed tonight without taking a minute to say thank you to all of you who commented on yesterday’s post, facebooked me, twittered at me, emailed me, sent me a carrier pigeon, whatever. Your words of encouragement are so precious.

Obviously I am in a season of life that is very difficult right now, but I am determined that Satan will not have victory in my life at this time.Your prayers and kind words have buoyed me up through difficult days, and it means so much to know that I am being lifted in prayer.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far utweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

– from 2 Corinthians 4

Therefore we do not lose heart.

Tender Heart

I had a bad day today.  I’m not talking about a little bad. I’m talking about get-in-the-car-after-work-and-freak-the-whole-family-out-by-sobbing-hysterically bad. Just a bunch of stuff, you know? And I’ve been barely holding it together anyway, so the bunch of stuff turned into a big crisis with me weeping in the passenger seat on the way home from work.

My kids haven’t seen me cry much. I’m a big goo-ball, and I get all teary and emotional about practically anything even remotely sappy, but to truly break down and cry is unusual for me.

I think the last time my sons really saw me cry was when we lost Elijah.

So it kind of freaked them out a little, especially Bubs, who in spite of his tough guy attitude has a tender little heart.

I came home and went up to my room and cried some more and vented to my husband and calmed down.

When I came downstairs, Art showed me this:

I don’t know what else to say, except that I am so very blessed by these sweet little people God has given me.

They are my joy.

Pictures Pictures

Today I had the awesome privilege of photographing one of my very few real life blogging buddies, Sarah. She is a photographer, so it was a little intimidating at first, but honestly, she is such a sweet person that she could make anyone feel good about themselves! I felt a little sorry for her husband, though– poor guy got bossed by two women the whole shoot! LOL.

Seriously, though, one of the problems of being a photographer is that you’re always behind the lens, and you don’t end up with a lot of shots of yourself with your family. So I was so grateful to be able to bless Sarah and her family with some pictures with her in them– of course, she hasn’t seen them yet, so who knows if she’ll really consider it a blessing? Ha!

Anyway, I got so many shots that I loved, it was really hard to narrow it down to a few to share, so this post is a bit photo-heavy. But the pictures make me happy. They are such a beautiful family.

Baby Josefine is possibly the most photographed baby on the planet, so she was entirely unphased by me sticking my lens in her face.

She was also completely unamused. Honestly, she mostly acted bored by the entire process.

Isn’t she a sweet little thing with all that hair? She’s only four months old and is already wearing cutie little clips.

Love this one! Josefine is clearly thinking “there they go again with the mushy stuff.”

Love this sweet mommy-daughter shot.

Okay, in these next two, Jim and Sarah are on a boat. And we were nowhere near a body of water. Cracks me up.

Fearless adventurers, sailing the grassy seas! HA!

Isn’t that precious? Look at those sweet little clasped hands.

Love this picture.

But this last one is my favorite.

Can I get a SQUEE???

Thanks, Jim, Sarah, and Josefine for letting me spend part of my afternoon with you today!

 

Background Music

I always have music playing in the car when I drive. Always. I used to be a talk radio gal, but since my children learned to talk I find music to be more beneficial than more talking.

You know those songs that they play on the radio all the time that you kind of ignore? I mean, you could sing the chorus if you thought about it, but they don’t stand out when they come on your favorite station. I have several songs like that. Honestly, most of the music they play on our Christian station is just background music to me. If one of the few songs I love comes on, I pump it up and dance around or get in my own little mostly-Baptist-I-swear praise and worship session. But most of the time, I just let it play in the background while I contemplate my contemplations (because what else am I supposed to contemplate?)

And then, every now and then, the words of one of those songs just pops out and BAM. God hits me with the reminder I need.

I was driving in my van for work the other day– picking up kids from school to take back to the daycare. I work at a Christian daycare, so I usually have the local Christian radio station playing in an attempt to drown out the extreme failing that is usually ocurring in the back seats. I was driving down the road when all of a sudden the words of the song started screaming at me– there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more fears . . .

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that song, hummed along with it, but in the midst of the stress of my life that day, those words were exactly what I needed. I started to get a little teary there on First Street, but thankfully I had a nine-year-old boy full of incessant questions in the back of the van to pull me out of my emotional crisis.

It came on the radio again today, as I was driving to work, and I listened to all the words, and I sat in the parking lot of the daycare and cried. Because the last month or so has been hard. Because sometimes, I honestly don’t want to get out of bed and face the day because I know it will be hard. But He has promised that someday, He will wipe all the tears from my eyes, and erase my pain and all the worst-case scenarios and bad dreams and sleepless  nights.

He is always good, always faithful, always true. And sometimes He uses what I just thought was background music to remind me of His goodness, His faithfulness, His truth.

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have,
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab.
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew.
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings:
That there will be a place with no more suffering.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears.
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more; We’ll see Jesus face to face.
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always.

I know the journey seems so long, you feel you’re walking on your own;
But there has never been a step where you’ve walked out all alone.
Troubled soul don’t lose your heart, ’cause joy and peace He brings;
And the beauty that’s in store outweighs the hurt of life’s sting.
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings:
That there will be a place with no more suffering.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears.
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more; We’ll see Jesus face to face.
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always.

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always
Will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced–
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery.
This is why this is why I sing–

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears.
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more; We’ll see Jesus face to face.
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always.

~~~song by Jeremy Camp and Jeremy Thomas~~~

Background music being brought to the foreground and touching my heart– that is the gift I am unwrapping today.

 

A Week of Gifts

Today was day eight of the 30-day Giving Challenge. I have managed to give at least one gift every day, including the one day when I realized at 10:00 pm that I hadn’t given anything so I left some cookies on the neighbor’s doorstep.

I have realized this week just how blessed I am. At the beginning of the challenge, I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough to give, but in just eight days God has shown me that what I have is all He wants. He isn’t expecting me to somehow miraculously come up with million dollar donations to charity. He just wants me to be willing to share what He has blessed me with– be it time, talents, or treasures.

I have given away cookies and clothing and bread. I have walked with my boy and baked for my family. I have spent time with friends capturing little bits of their lives on camera. I have been constantly reminded that Christ saw the widow’s mite as the greater gift. What little I can give– this is all He asks me for.

Blessings? I would say a friend buying me a week’s worth of groceries was a blessing. And a need I’ve been praying for was met in part, beyond what we had hoped for. But honestly, I think the greatest blessings have been the immaterial, the intangible. God has proven to me that He is already blessing me, beyond what I realized.

Sometimes I get all wrapped up in me and forget that He is there.

Sometimes I am so introspective that I ignore the presence of God in all that is around me.

He writes His love for me in the beauty of a fall day, in the smiles on my children’s faces, in the perfect song on the radio, in the faces of the people I see through the lens of my camera.

His love is no subtle and quiet thing that must be sought for with care. It is splashed across my life, coloring every aspect of who I am and what happens to me like watercolors in the hands of my son. When I don’t see it, it’s never because it’s not there.

It’s because I’m not looking.

The reminder of His unfailing love has been the greatest blessing I have received so far this week.

And to think there’s still three more to come.

This is going to be good, people.

In Which My Own Children Get So Sick of the Camera That I Must Find New Subjects

Today I had the chance to take some pictures of one of Little One’s little friends, J. He wasn’t inspired by the photo shoot, so we didn’t work very long, but with eyes like this it wasn’t hard to get some good captures.

I mean seriously. Isn’t he a sweetie?

I got several of poor J crying, because he didn’t get a very good nap today, and this one was way too cute not to post.

Ack! Those eyes!

Finishing off with a big sweet smile!

Thanks for hanging out with me today, Mister J! Hope your mama likes your pictures!

The Baby’s Guide to Dating

Dating is very important if you are ever going to find the perfect mate. Most parents will allow you to date when you are a baby and toddler, and then will expect you to stop dating until you are forty-two. That’s why it’s best to have as many dates while your parents still think it’s cute.

Once you have found a dateable someone to spend time with, you need an activity.

We suggest dinner.

You can learn a lot about a person by seeing how they eat their mashed potatoes.

Dinner is also a great opportunity for conversation.

Just be sure to be a good listener and not dominate the conversation.

Make sure you laugh at your date’s jokes.

Laughter is good for relationships, you know.

Don’t try too hard to impress your date.

You should always look for someone who will accept you just as you are.

And if you’re going to hold hands, make sure you do it while someone’s got the camera handy.

After all, you might not get another date for forty-one and a half years. Might as well make this one memorable!

Along the Path

When I took Stinky and Little One on our walk yesterday, I got some pictures that I really like. I don’t take a lot of pics without people in them, but these make me happy so I’m sharing them with you. Along the path we were following, at one point there was a field surrounded by a fence. That’s where I took these shots.

Hope you enjoy!

Isn’t it awesome how even the smallest, most commonplace things can be beautiful?

Gifts of Joy

I haven’t been feeling fabulous this week (or for the last few weeks, for that matter), and I was very much inspired to just sit in my chair all day feeling sorry for myself and ignoring the beautiful November day. But thankfully I have a five-year-old who is seldom inspired to sit around doing nothing, so I was forced into my walking shoes, into the van, and down the road.

We had a beautiful day for a walk– with bright blue skies and vivid sunlight. Not so great for taking pictures, so you’ll forgive the funky shadows.

I thought the rings on this tree stump were beautiful.

It was actually three tree trunks melded together. I’m sure there’s all kinds of deep things I could say here, but I’ll just stick with isn’t that cool?

We found this bridge, and what is it about bridges? My boys just love them. Maybe it’s the echoing noise they make as they run back and forth. Stinky had fun pushing Little One in her stroller on the bridge.

She waved her arms around and generally seemed to enjoy her wild ride. Then I simply had to take her out of there so I could take some pictures.

It’s a little known fact that babies love fall foliage.

If he were your kid, you would have totally caved when he wanted to go do something fun, too.

Tell me that face doesn’t just turn you into a big pile of mush?

I. Adore. This. Picture.

You know, it’s funny. I was trying to decide what to give today and decided that I would be extra super generous and give Stinky my time for a couple hours.

But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it was I who received the greatest gift.

Isn’t that just how it works?

I’m a little late in the day, but I’m linking up to Just for the Joy of It over and Good, True, and Beautiful today.

Thanks, son, for getting me out in the fresh air and treating me to some joy today.

Needed

They always seem to need me.

To sharpen the pencil– to answer the question.

To resolve the argument– to tie the shoe.

To listen to the story– to read the book– to wipe away the tears.

To wash the face– to find the socks– to fold the laundry.

They clamor for me with their needs, seeing not that I am the neediest of them.

I am tired– I am sad.

I am achy– I am hungry.

Sometimes I yearn for just a moment of peace.

But always they need me.

One untied shoe– I can handle this.

But there is always another. Always another question to be answered, another nose to be wiped.

Always someone needing the reminder that they are loved and cared for.

Some days the moments of peace are few, the moments of rest a far-off dream.

When it seems everyone needs something from me– something I don’t have to give– He is there.

When they need my help, He is my Help.

When the noise fills my ears, He is my Peace.

Always there, meeting my desperate needs, so that I can turn to another with a tissue or sought-for sock.

He never tires of my needs.

Let me not grow weary in well-doing, Oh Lord.